Polishing The Mirror
When I was first introduced to Buddhism it was at a difficult time in my life. A good friend had been practicing for a few months and was very excited to share what she had learned. I was a sponge and tried to sop up every bit of wisdom she dropped.
One day she began talking about others being a mirror reflection of yourself. Much to her chagrin, I had a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept. I just could not grasp the idea that someone who had wronged me, and I fiercely disliked, would be able to teach me something about myself. I mean come on! How could I even begin to reconcile all of the abuse and trauma in my life by looking at the ones who had perpetrated said abuse and seeing myself?! Impossible.
I began trying to see this supposed reflection. Initially, I thought it only applied to the difficult people in my world. It was really hard, trying to see myself in those jerks! And it hurt! It’s like taking a shot of straight vinegar. Yuck.
I was starting to feel a bit worn down. Then one day I saw a cashier at the grocery store being exceptionally kind to an older woman. And it hit me that she was also a reflection! I saw that I admired how she was so patient and helpful. When it was my turn at the register she didn’t miss a beat and turned a beautiful smile my way. I realized that I used to be that way, patient and kind. I had allowed all of the Things that happened to infest my life, and had grown more than a little surly. Worse, I had lost my compassion.
When you encounter someone that brings on a strong emotion it is a sign that the Universe is trying to teach you something. If it is a negative emotion then it is likely triggering past wounds and may cause you to repeat a learned pattern of self preservation. A positive emotion may be hard for some of us to even recognize. Trust me when I tell you that the good feelings are out there; it just may take some practice to learn what they look like.
Now, I’m not saying that I’ve got it all down. I still struggle. I’m learning though, every day. My hope is that I will get to a place where I can truly forgive those that have caused me so much pain.
In my opinion, looking for the good in others is a better way to start polishing this mental mirror. Especially for those of us who have been traumatized. All too often we isolate in our own minds, thinking the worst of ourselves and others. This is not a true reflection, it is distorted and ugly. When you start to look for the good in others, it becomes easier to see the good in and around you. The end result? Easing your own suffering by learning compassion for yourself, which makes those little shots of vinegar much easier to swallow.
